April Fool's Joke

An atheist became incensed over Christmas holiday preparations. He filed a lawsuit about the constant celebrations given to Christians and Jews while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the long passionate, presentation by the atheist's lawyer, the judge banged his gavel and declared "Case dismissed!"

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling. "Your Honor, How can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter, and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur, and Hanakkuh. Yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!"

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, "Obviously, your client is too confused to know about, much less celebrate his own atheist holiday!"

The lawyer pompously said, "Your honor, we are unaware of any such holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be?"

The judge replied, "Well it comes every year, on exactly the same date. Psalm 12:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, if your client says there is no God, according to the Bible he is a fool. April Fool's Day is his holiday. Now get out of my courtroom!"

What's your sign

See if this fits you. I am a Libra and I think this fits me to a tee, although it is hard to decide.
How many members of your astrological sign does it take to change a light bulb?
Aries: Just one. You want to make something of it?
Taurus: One, but just "try" to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.
Gemini: Two, but the job never gets done--they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done.
Cancer: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.
Leo: Leos don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo to do the job for them while they're out.
Virgo: Approximately 1.0000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.
Libra: Er, two. Or maybe one. No - on second thought, make that two. Is that okay with you?
Scorpio: That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order.
Sagittarius: The sun is shining, the day is young and we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid light bulb?
Capricorn: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.
Aquarius: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so...
Pisces: Light bulb? What light bulb?