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Some unimaginative types, might not find my story very scary, but anyone who has ever had teenagers involved in extracurricular activities with the last minute demands that come with all that stuff, well it is enough to give the best of us nightmares for weeks. And if your kids are too young, well just wait and I will try not to say "I told you so."
And now for my story. I am so nervous; I have never entered anything before. This is really, really scary. My knees are knocking and my teeth are chattering.
Drumroll please........
If you have a musical, teenage son, chances are he is going to play in the school orchestra.
And if he plays in the orchestra, chances are there will be a fall orchestra concert.
And if there is a fall orchestra concert, chances are your son will sign you up to make zucchini bread for the bake sale/fundraiser before the concert.
And if he signs you up to make zucchini bread, chances are he will tell you about it at 10 pm the night before the concert.
And if you have to make zucchini bread, chances are you will be out of several ingredients, namely zucchini because growing a garden in Vegas, not so easy; so you will have to go to the store.
And if you are going to the grocery store, chances are your son will say, "Hey, can we get stuff to make me look like one of the guys on Miami Vice for my Halloween costume."
And if you go to the thrift store after the grocery store, chances are you will find some pants that need to be hemmed shorter.
And if you are hemming the pants shorter, chances are your son will say "Hey, I can't find the cumber bun and bow tie to my tuxedo that I have to wear to the concert tonight."
And if your son asks for your expertise in finding these things, chances are you will waste 45 minutes in peril of life and limb in his room looking for the tie and cumber bun until you emerge from the ghastly disaster, triumphant.
And if you are doing a victory lap, chances are your son will say "Hey, is that zucchini bread done and can you give me a ride to the school because my car won't start."
And if you give your son a ride to the school, chances are you are going to attend the concert if you don't want to be voted worst mother of the year.
And if you attend the concert, chances are peer pressure will cause you to pay $1 for one slice of the zucchini bread you made earlier that afternoon after you spent $10 on the ingredients to make 4 loaves.
And if you bought the zucchini bread, chances are you will go into the concert where both the choir and the orchestra will perform in alternating numbers and you will watch as they set up the stage with the risers for the choir and then take them down, and set up chairs and music stands for the orchestra and then take those down, repeated until late into the night all the while your brain turns to something resembling oatmeal mush and runs out of your ears onto the floor.
And as the concert goes on and on and on and you stare aimlessly at your grey matter laying on the floor all glittery and slimy, chances are you are going to start to wonder why you ever encouraged your teenage son to be musical.
Because if your teenage son is musical....chances are he is going to play in the school orchestra.
