I'm a working mom survivor!

Well as crash commented on my last post, yes my working days outside of the home are officially over. I submitted a time sheet for 87 hours for the past two weeks. I think cartwheels, back flips, balloons, and confetti are in order. But I am too tired for that, so I will settle for falling onto my bed in a coma.

It is interesting, my job last week for the actual furniture show, was to stand at the doorway of the Global Views showroom and greet people. You know saying things like "Welcome to Global Views" and the always popular "Have a nice day". I did, however, manage to squeeze in a few ba bye's ala Helen Hunt on Saturday Night live stewardess sketch. But man being cheerful and smiling all day long is exhausting.

Can you imagine what would happen if when customers asked "How are you today?" I responded with saying "well my back is killing me, my feet hurt even worse, and I have a son with multiple medical issues, and a mother and mother in law both undergoing Chemo for breast cancer. Not to mention a husband whose job wants to cut back his hours, a pool that looks like a swamp and a house that looks like a candidate for clean sweep or some other television make over show, and I am not prepared for the pandemic flu that I keep reading is coming, let alone knowing what to do with my wheat, despite my ward's valiant efforts to teach me. "

So instead of scaring customers away, I lie through my teeth about 500 times a day and say "I am fine, How are you?" And they probably lie right back to me as well.

All this faking it did seem to rub off a tiny bit. It was a change for me, and sometimes a change is as good as a rest. But other times a coma or a straight jacket are as good as a rest.

I do bow down in ardent admiration to any working mothers. Honestly I have no idea how you can do it all the time. I have seriously neglected my full time motherhood job, for my full time paying job for three weeks. Hopefully no one is scarred for life. And hey now I can pay for their therapy, right? And now I can try to get every one back on track and doing what they are suppose to be doing, when they are suppose to be doing it.

So I am extremely grateful for the extra cash, which is already spent and will go to paying off debts. But it has nearly killed me both physically and emotionally and to say I am glad it is over would be an understatement like saying the Titanic was a little bit wet and cold.

Perhaps it will help me appreciate the blessing of having only one full time job. We will see. I already made two phone calls about medical issues today, so it is good to have time to work on those problems again. Just like when it is good to get a root canal. And now I am taking my daughter to the mall for a long promised trip. Although I don't remember the promising, but she assures me that the promise was made and insists I make good on said promise.

Some important things were learned during my foray into the work field:

A family can survive for three weeks on cold cereal, chips, frozen food both cooked and uncooked, and various canned goods. Although no one cracked open the number 10 cans of wheat, so it couldn't have been that big of an emergency, despite their cries otherwise.

The day of miracles has not ceased as attested to by the fact that my 17 year old found his work shoes one day and his apron and cap on another day all by his very own self. This is something that would have fallen under my expertise had I been home to rescue him. Good job of bending and lifting things and looking in more than one place, son.

It would appear that I am the one doing much of the stuff that needs doing around here, as most things did not happen. You know things like getting the mail, picking things up around the house, handling of school affairs, and life's little luxuries like food and water. To my husbands credit, he did do the laundry one Saturday, which can not be discounted in its helpfulness to me.

Although I had assumed otherwise, I was able to adapt to the custom of putting on a bra, clothes, and make up every day. I figured that it was a habit I had manage to completely break but wearing a bra, clothes, and make up must be like riding a bike. Easy to get back into. Although I have never ridden a bike without my clothes so perhaps I have nothing with which to compare it to. Anywho, I even wore clothes that made me look professional, instead of a bag lady having a bad hair day.

Truth be told, I would never want to have a career. Way to much pressure. Unless it was a career as a Broadway star, then I might be interested. So for now, I will be very content to return to my life as a full time mom with my little some times part time job.

And who knows someday, when my kids are grown, I may find myself returning to the workforce in my chosen profession of accountant, but til then you will find me bra less, laying on my couch, eating bon bons watching Oprah. Oh, yeah and resuming my position as the chief operating officer of our household as well.

Biggest Loser, Revisited

Diana lost her glasses. Yes the $300 pair that I purchased last June. Also the pair that got scratched in Seattle, accidentally, and so I paid $75 to have new lenses put in the frames. Because this is my life, she promptly lost them the very next week. This was the first week of September. She wore her old pair with the old prescription for a week, but the Bermuda Triangle at my house did not decide to give up its treasure. So I was forced to go to Wal Mart and get new frames for $40. And because I am pretty sure that $40 is cheaper than a night at the mental hospital, I even sprang for a second pair. This way instead of going crazy in the morning when I can't find her glasses, we can just pull out the other pair and go serenely on our way. Because you know that is how our mornings are, just pure peace and serenity.

Of course I had an ulterior motive in buying new glasses. I figured it was the one sure way to find the old ones. Murphy's Law and all that blah, blah, blah. So in theory Diana now has 4 pairs of glasses. Her old gold frames, her purple metal frames, and the two new inexpensive frames.

Here are one of the new pairs. And I also popped for a chain thing that she can wear around her neck like an old lady Liberian or something.

Here is another cute shot.

And I think this pair is my favorite.

And fate has spit on my plan, because the purple metal frames, still AWOL of course. Curses, but at least she has something else to wear in the mean time. Those other frames are probably gone for good.

And just to keep me from being bored this week, Jared lost his glasses last Saturday while I was taking a nap. I swear it is as if these kids think I have nothing better to do than follow them around and watch to see where they put their glasses down. After searching for about an hour each day, I finally found his tonight. Yes they were on the book shelf right next to his bed right where he could see them when he sleeps at night. Criminey. I admit I no longer want to have the finding gene. I was probably just delusional to begin with thinking that I actually could find things.

Yesterday I spent thirty minutes looking for my car keys before I found them in the bottom of my purse. Yes, I have definitely lost more than a couple pair of glasses.