A Hammond Family Get Together in Logan

As promised here are pictures of our recent trip to Utah. We went to witness the sealing of my Sister in Law to her Husband in the Logan temple. My husband has 6 brothers and 1 sister. Everyone was there except for 3 of his brothers. We have not all been together since his dad passed away four years ago. It was good to catch up and spend time together. Most of you reading this will not want to be held captive for my family slide show. That's OK. Run now. So here they are in no particular order:

Here's the whole fam damily. At least those who could be there that day. Quite a large group, huh?
Here are the adults. Nice hat James.

Here we are with my mother in law.

Here I am with my sister-in-law, Ruth. We have been friends since the day we met, 25 years ago. She always wanted a sister, and I was lucky enough to be the first sister to join the family. Six more sister-in-laws have followed. Our own Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.
Me and Diana.

And here are the four of us. Our oldest son had to stay home for school and work. How sad when life makes us miss fun to be responsible.
All the cousin's Diana's age are boys, so she just hung out with the teenagers who were girls. She thinks she is 15 anyway, so it worked out well.

Here we are the morning of check out.

Here is Tandy's family. They are missing their oldest sister, also for work.

On Saturday morning, we took a trip to the Richmond cemetery to visit some loved ones. We got some great pictures of headstones.Adan and Kelly traveled all the way from Mesa with their four little boys. Yes, those are 2 year old twins, and yes they both threw up within 2 minutes of each other on the drive up.

Here are some of the teen boys hangin out at the pool.

At first Diana was shy to get in and swim with cousins she hasn't seen for such a long time, but eventually she was right in there with them and had a great time.

Jared had fun getting to know his cousins again. I think it was a great thing for him to have some company. And he traveled pretty well in the car, even with the cast.

Cute shot of Diana with her aunt Helen. We had six hotel rooms all in a row and on the bottom floor. That was probably lucky for those around us.

Here is Ruth's family. Notice again the shortage of girls.

And another girl less family. Cute matching though, Aaron and Helen.

Diana getting some love from her cousin and buddy.

And look at the pleasant look on my kid's face. It was so good to see. Here he is with a cousin his same age.

All in all it was a great trip, with lots of family, fun, and food. Besides the cemetery, trips were made to Pepperidge Farm factory and Gossners Cheese for cheese curds. Yummo! Good thing I didn't need to take a cholesterol test again like the last time I went to Utah.

Thanks everyone for all the fun. I hope it isn't as long before we can all get together again.

Do Over

Okay, peeps. I didn't really mean to post my home sweet home post, yesterday. I thought I had scheduled it to post this morning. Because I hated to pour down posts upon you. And I thought that I would go back and perhaps add to it or edit it. It wasn't finished and completely presentable. But blogger seemed to think otherwise.

And so let me say a few things that I forgot. Part of the nice thing about being in Seattle visiting my mom, was seeing that she is actually surviving her chemo treatments, even thriving, I would have to say. Last Monday, my sister Kris, who lives in Seattle, took my mom and I to her Chemo treatment. It was interesting to see what it all looks like and how it all worked. It is amazing how knowledge takes away the fear of the unknown.

The next day, I was able to drive my mom to another appointment. She was getting fitted for some compression garments. When she had her surgery, they removed 20 lymph nodes. Apparently those little guys are very necessary to removing fluid from settling under your arm. And so you can massage the fluid over to the other side of the body where she still has lymph nodes. This has helped a lot. But the compression garments will help even more.

Can just say how nice it is to drive a patient to appointments who is a willing participant in the whole thing? I didn't even have to put her shoes on for her, or put a gun to her head to get her to change her shirt or comb her hair. Well, I guess truthfully she doesn't have any hair, so that one doesn't apply. She didn't require me to run up and down the stairs to retrieve different clothing choices or clean socks. Well, it was a refreshing change. Perhaps I should ship Jared to Seattle to get some lessons on how to be the model patient.

Then that night I went with my mom and sister to my mom's enrichment. I saw some old friends, I haven't seen for a very long time. One of these was my mia maid advisor, who is one of my favorite people in the world. It was good to talk of old times. She reminded us that most times during presidency meetings we would get to giggly, I being one of the worst. And then she would make us run around the block to get some energy out. I am so grateful to her and her impact on my life and the person I am today.

Someone asked if I returned rested. The answer is yes and no. It was wonderful to have a break from being in charge. But part of my problem is in my very own head. The thoughts I keep having that I am not doing enough, not to mention feeling overwhelmed by many things going on right now. And the awful dreams I keep having. Actually they are nightmares. I really do think that I have got post traumatic stress disorder. So even when I sleep, it doesn't seem all that restful.

Last Saturday night, I had probably the worst one yet. It had to do with Jared being back in the hospital and they couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. There were other parts that I can not really remember enough to explain. But it was horrific to the extreme. When I woke up, my heart was racing and I was sweating. I think it took me about 3 hours to really accept that it was a dream and try to calm down somewhat.

That is the bad part of vacations, my mind goes with me everywhere. No vacation from thoughts of doom and gloom. Except at the temple. I need to be there more.

I will keep plugging along trying to do things to heal my broken heart, but it seems that there will be no quick fixes for this achey breaky heart of mine. I will keep chasing hope, even though it has managed to elude me so far. Some day this will be in the past. Some day I will look back and think, "Wow that was a rilly, rilly, rilly hard time, I am glad it is over and I am glad that I learned (fill in in the blank)." I need to start thriving instead of just surviving. Someday.

Home Sweet Home

Some of you may or may not have noticed my absence this past week. It turns out that I have been living my life instead of just blogging about it. Sad but true.

In a rather last minute decision, I went to Seattle to visit my parents. It was spring break for my husband, and so he didn't have to teach and could stay home and be the mom/taxi driver. I have been trying to get up to see my mom for the past 3 months. It was so happy that the stars finally aligned to let it happen.

Jared asked why he wasn't going with me. To which I rained on his parade by telling him that his coming would defeat the purpose of my having a break from being his caregiver.

I got there about Noon on Saturday, March 15th. My Mom and I went right to the Seattle temple to witness a sealing of someone in her ward. And the very special part was that my Dad was the sealer. That night, my Dad cooked a wonderful dinner of eggs with sausage, mushrooms, onions, and spinach. It was delicious.

I haven't been home for about a year and a half. My two week visit that was planned for July was canceled when Jared was in the hospital. My parents live in the same house we moved to when I was in fourth grade.

Some remodeling has been done, but the bare bones are the same. I wandered around and looked at pictures and remembered good times. It was also a very rare experience because I was alone. With seven brothers and sisters and 18 grandchildren, one on one time with my parents is not common. It was so good to have such great one on one time with both of them.

It came as quite a shock to wake up Sunday morning and see that it had snowed. I don't ever remember it snowing in March when I was a kid. Very strange. And cold.

Here is a not very glamorous shot of me and my mom. This was taken on my way to the airport. We are both still trying to wake up. But still it is documentation.

And here I am with my Dad.

And here is a shot of my airplane before I boarded it. Traveling by air is always so strange and surreal. I left Seattle where it was 55 and grey, and landed in Vegas where it was 85 and sunny.

And then less than 24 hours we loaded up the car and drove to Utah. But that will be a topic for another post.

Sitting Pretty

You may or may not remember the near catastrophe about a month ago, when I sent Diana to school unaware of it being picture day. A call from her, sent me speeding to the school to fill out the form. You could read about that fun here. Or not. No pressure. Just know that I was not involved in any way in how this child looked for her picture.

Well, here is evidence that it worked out just fine. In fact, in what I am sure is an unbiased opinion, I think she looks down right adorable. She borrowed a brush from someone else and managed to make here hair look quite presentable. Go her. Also, she is wearing her favorite of the 4 pair of glasses she owns. Good they were documented, because they are currently MIA, probably enjoying a Caribbean cruise in the Bermuda Triangle that inhabits my house.

And just in case you missed it, school pictures have oft times been a source of drama at our house. Remember this picture day which resulted in this picture, which then resulted in this retake. Rereading about past picture days, made me wonder how Picture Day can be so good at landing on days when my life is crazy. But then it occurs to me that it is not Picture Day's physic powers, but any day in my life is pretty much a day of insanity.

And so another year of school pictures comes to a close. Hallelujah!!!

Phase II of Project Straight Leg

Yesterday was our follow up appointment with our surgeon. Jared has done pretty well with his cast for the past two weeks. It only really hurt for the first night. Everyone had fun signing it. Here is what it looked like:First, they cut off the old cast. Jared was a bit nervous about this, but there was no screaming, so it couldn't have been that bad. After the cast was off, they let his skin breathe for a few minutes. The surgeon even had him get up and walk around a little bit. He was wobbly as newborn Bambi, but he can walk, kind of. It is progress.

After the walking, four people came into our closet like room. They brought in the big guns with that guy in the blue shirt. First, the guy in the white coat named Pete, stretched and pulled on Jared's leg and knee.
Next they prepared his leg for the cast.

While Pete held the leg straight, blue shirt guy applied the cast.

Finally, they both pushed on the cast to help it stay as straight as possible while the cast hardened. They did a good job. The old cast had his leg at 30 degrees, and the new one has it down to about 8 degrees. It is practically straight.

So it was a very successful trip and made even better by the fact that I remembered to bring my camera to document the whole thing.

Cyber Salon

A friend of mine has a daughter who has graduated from beauty school. A week ago, Friday, this daughter came to Vegas and set up a beauty shop at my friend’s house. I was one of the lucky people who received her services.

Just to be clear, usually I get my hair cut at super cuts for $12.99. And I color my own hair with supplies from Sally’s Beauty, that usually cost about $6. For these reasons, it was a huge treat to have someone else color my hair and give me a professional hair cut.

But better than the new doo, was the fun of sitting in someone’s kitchen while several others filed through the hair cutting process. Visiting and catching up with others was so much fun. It reminded me of the beauty shop in Steel Magnolias.

It is sad that times have changed and it is no longer a habit for most of us to go and get our hair done once a week.

But it occurred to me that blogging is kind of a cyber space beauty shop. We all meet together in comment boxes and share each other’s joys and pains. I have no other constant source of comfort and support, and for this I am extremely grateful to my blogging soul sistas.

And it is great that there are an unlimited number of hair dryers for us all to sit under. So while Crash is getting her nails done, Shelle can get a shampoo, Anjeny can get a cut, Funny Farmer can get her brows waxed, Heidi can get a pedi, Kristina can get a facial whilst wearing her snuggie. Annie can get whatever you get for hair extensions. Jen can get a deep conditioning treatment for soft and silky hair. Kritta, Melanie, Eliza, Shauna, there is room for everyone. That is the beauty of the blogoparlor. Get it...Beauty of the beauty parlor. Ha Ha Ha

Every one is invited and welcome.

Keep it up everyone, and I will join you for some pampering at the Cyber Salon.

So come in and set a spell. What's the latest?

HOME ALONE

I am HOME ALONE. It is a miracle worth celebrating and hence blogging about. And who says Friday the 13th is bad luck. It appears to be one of my luckiest days, ever. (like anyone could even know that, Napoleon)

And how did this miracle come to be. Well, it took some effort on my part and the universe chipped in as well

My husband, the young men's president is up on Mt. Charleston with a tour bus full of young men and young women. It will be cold. There will be snow. The bus ride will be loud and rival any elementary school field trip in its horrors, I am sure. He made a bit of a mess in my freshly cleaned/mopped kitchen as he prepared the hot chocolate for the trip. But I have chosen to ignore it for now, and only filled one pot with water to soak.

My oldest son, is busy being gainfully employed by Wendy's. Bless his heart. And bless his manager's heart for scheduling him to work until 8 pm this evening.

My second son, also known as the cripple was forced at gun point to go on the bus full of youths. (my cousin vinny, anyone?) He came up with every reason under the sun for why he should not go. From not thinking he could not stand it, to being sure that his casted leg would not fit in the seats on the bus, to not wanting to go if his dad did. He gave it a valiant effort, but I was a force to be reckoned with. All week long I have been informing him that HE WOULD BE GOING. And all week long he has been retorting that NO HE WOULD NOT. Well, this is one battle I was determined to win. And win I did. It did involve many sprints up and down the stairs to find the necessary/acceptable clothing. But, that was worth it as well.

My daughter is at a birthday party. She was home after school, but left at 6 o'clock. So I have had 2 whole hours of complete solitary silence.

It is true when they say silence is golden. It is silver, diamond, nickel, and pearly also. And priceless. Did I mention how much I yearn to be alone?

So when my daughter left to the party with our next door neighbor, I actually shouted for joy. OUT LOUD!!! Because when you are alone, you can do that and no one cares. Because NO ONE IS HERE. It is a thing of beauty, I tell ya.

I contemplated doing cartwheels, but reconsidered given my current out of shapeness and the shortness of my hall ceiling. Not to mention the family pictures, I would most likely destroy.

Instead, I have spent my time luxuriously on the computer. When others are here, I seem to find myself always at the end of the line for cyber time. I need to work on changing that. It has been glorious. I also did fold some laundry. But mostly I just enjoyed uninterrupted computer time.

Those of you with young children know that feeling of needing some alone time, I am sure. I have taken it for granted, seeing as how all my kids have been in school full time for 3 years. Normally I get at least 6 hours of kid free time during the week. Those days are long gone, my friends. And I miss them more than I can say.

But I treasure aloneness now. And covet. Oh, the coveting that goes on. Not good.

So I had my dream date Friday night. Just me and my computer. I wonder what this says about me. Probably some statement on the lameness of my life. But that's OK with me.

Thank you Universe for that two hour gift. And the six hour break from Jared. You'll never know how much I appreciate it.

Something Old, Something New, Nothing Borrowed, Something Blue

Recently a good friend recommended that I get a new purse. She was not trying to be mean or critical, only giving me advice on things I could do to try and improve my outlook on life.

Here is a picture of my sad, forlorn purse. I loved this purse when I first got it two years ago. It was a super purchase and impulse buy at Payless Shoe source that only cost $5.


Before this purse I had a very small, boring black purse. When I purchased this one, I loved the turquoise accent. In fact I always meant to write a post about how much I loved this purse. How everything fit just perfectly in it. And how I loved the pockets on the outside that could hold my cell phone or keys. When I bought this purse, it was a huge boost in my attitude towards life. And I loved this purse even more for all that it did for me.
But as you can see the past two years have not been kind to this purse. The handles are starting to crack, and there is a whole grayish shade going on that must be due to dirt. But still, this is the purse that sat with me through all my hospital stays. It provided me with a place for my beloved and lifesaving MP3 player. Also, it supplied me with Kleenex for those really bad days. And we can not underestimate the importance of the over used credit and insurance cards. The pen to fill out forms. The envelope overfilling with medical receipts saved for tax purposes. My camera even fit nicely in one corner. It has been a good friend and companion.


So when my friend first mentioned replacing it, I reacted as if she had suggested replacing a cherished family pet. I couldn't imagine life with out it. But then I took a good look at my aging friend, and one could not deny that it is looking a bit, well depressing.


One day I was at Target for something else, and I just perused through the purse section. Nothing jumped out at me saying "Pick me to be your new best friend." Plus everything was like $30. How could I replace me bargain best friend with something I didn't really love, and paid full price for?


Several days later, I was again at Payless Shoe. Again buying shoes for my daughter. I looked through the purses there. They had many on sale, but the one I fell in love with was not included. I looked at it and felt the smooth leather beneath my finger tips. I admired the shiny nickel embellishments. I tried it on my shoulder to see how it would feel. I even took it up to the register to check to see if it might be on sale. No, it was the full $25. I told the sales girl that I would not get it, telling myself I could always come back to get it later.


My daughter told me I should get it because she liked it. She said "Get it, Get it." And so I let her push me over indecision edge and I gave in and bought it that very day.

What do you think? My boss told me it looked very classy.

I could have taken this opportune time to carefully go through everything in my old purse and purging the unnecessary junk. But that would have required energy on my part. Instead, I just held the old purse upside down and dumped everything into the new one. Much less effort.

I do like the way the new purse looks, well new. It has added a spring to my step that I was doubtful about. It is requiring an adjustment period, which I am not a fan of. Why am I so resistant to change, I wonder? And it does have something of a black hole nature, that could prove challenging at times. But overall, I am happy with the choice. It is bigger and can thus hold more junk, which I am sure I will accumulate soon.

And just so my vacuum cleaner doesn't feel persecuted, here is a shot of my old and new purse getting acquainted. I still haven't had the heart to dispose of the old purse.

Sometimes You Do Get What You Want

Yesterday we went back to see the surgeon that did the hip replacement on Jared. I went with fear and trepidation and came home smiling and chuckling to myself.

Let's just recap the past few weeks. Jared has not been faithfully wearing his brace. He will put it on for about 30 mins at a time, but then take it off. I have not sat with a gun pointed to his head, which I suppose was my part of the failure. Jared has also become less willing to go to physical therapy, as in "You really can't make me go, nani nani boo boo to you." And he does have a point there. If only he were three and I could just pick him up and put him in the car, but no I do need him to cooperate and walk to the car.

So when we went to the doctor yesterday, he examined Jared and before we knew it, there was a guy in there pulling as hard as he could on Jared's leg to stretch it out. After about ten minutes of pulling, the nurse held the leg and the guy put a cast on his leg from his hip to his ankle. At one point my husband had to help hold Jared from being pulled off the table. And now his leg is straighter than it has been in months and he has NO CHOICE whatsoever. It is genius, I tell you. I may need to hide all the saws in the house, but it is so perfect that it is forcing him to keep that leg straight.

Of course this is quite painful for Jared. Hee hee hee. (did I just say that out loud?) What a horrible mom, am I? Last night he was suffering quite a bit, but I realize that it is his own fault. At one point he said to me, hold my leg up in this position. I said "No way, no how." Sorry dude, you have burned all your bridges with me. So good luck with that and hold your own leg up.

And so he will wear this cast for two weeks, and then we go back and they will cut it off and straighten his leg some more and cast it again. I am not sure how many times it will take to get it straightened. In the mean time we will stop physical therapy three times a week. I feel like I have been given a new life.

And it was so lucky that Jared showered the day before we went to the doctor, because no water for that cast.

Finally a medical solution that will require absolutely no effort on my part. Just ear plugs to help me ignore all the wailing and gnashing of teeth.

I guess Karma can really come back to bite you, huh?

P.S.

If I put Nutty Hamster Chick into the anagram it says:

Sketchy Manic Truth

Well what the heck does that mean? Wow these things are really freaking me out.

The Universe may be sending me a message, but nobody's home.

I was thrilled when I saw the latest post from Funny Farmer. She shared with us this fascinating anagram website. At first I couldn't remember what an anagram was, but then I accessed my useless information I learned from movies file in my brain. In National Treasure, Nicolas Cage uses an anagram as the password to get in and steal the Constitution.

Just as this website touts, I typed in my full name to find out what lurks within my name. What hidden message could be contained within the letters of my moniker?

Do you want to know?

Really?







Damnation, charmed pain

Well, all righty then. Thank you universe for that lovely uplifting message. And actually it might explain a lot.

Like why the education system has to be so difficult and cause me so much pain and suffering. Like when I went to the high school to see about getting Jared set up in the home bound program and I went to the registration office, only to be sent to the attendance office, but that person wasn't there, so they said go to the registration office. And stop by the nurses office, and the counselors office. And I ran around the high school hamster wheel for about an hour before I gave up and decided to come back when the people who actually know what to do, were there.

Or why last week I was in a minor traffic altercation, when the light turned green and I was trying to organize Jared's paper work for home bound schooling, and so I stepped on the gas while looking down at said papers, but the lady in the car in front of me had put her car in park so she could scratch her foot and did not proceed to drive when the light turned green, so I bumped into her pretty hard. No damage to the cars, just my heart and nervous system. So, no worries.

Or why when I went to the ATM to make a deposit, the machine decided to just eat my envelope without crediting me for the $1300 check, and so I went inside to the bank and waited for an hour whilst they retrieved my check.

And this was just one of my days last week. Sometimes I wonder if it would just be easier to give myself a paper cut and pour lemon juice in it, just to save the universe from some of its trouble.

Then, I could send the universe an email, informing it that I had been tortured and tormented already that day, and it could check me off the list of people needing to be afflicted that day.

Just a thought. But seriously knowing the hidden message in my name explains a lot about my life. Don't ya think?

Another medical person promises me the moon, if I can pay for it.

I wrote this last Wednesday at the Physical therapy office. We were there for 3 hours. Glad I don't have a life or anything. Plus I probably infected everyone there with my cold. I hope I didn't kill any old people. They can be fragile, you know. Here is an update on situation Jared.

I have a cold today. Everything seems swollen and throbbing. I am sitting at physical therapy while they are working on Jared. His stomach seems to be doing better and his appetite is returning. He ate a whole pound of bacon and two glasses of orange juice for breakfast. Actually if I would cook it for him, he would eat a pound of bacon for every meal. This will help to fatten him up, but I am not that fond of cooking bacon. Not to mention it does not sound like a very well balanced diet.

Soon another medical person will come and fit Jared for special splint that will work on getting his leg straight. Over the past few weeks he has not been to PT and has kept his knee bent. When we came last week the therapist was very dismayed to find that his knee will not straighten more than 60 degrees. They did have it down to 10 degrees at one point in January.

This brace will cost me $276 a month to rent. Holy bankruptcy batman! But at this point I will and would pay any price to get this child walking without crutches.

My insurance, although great for catastrophic medical situations, not so good when it comes to prosthetic type of things. We must look at the medical insurance cup as being half full. Truth be told I would prefer to pay $275 a month than pay for the $350,000 hospital stay that saved my son's life. I only had to pay $275 for that, and I am truly grateful. And hey this company takes Discover, so more cash back bonus for me.

But I can’t help feeling skeptical. Here is another medical device that is supposed to help my son heal. I paid $110 for a traction device that did nothing. Next, I paid $70 to have my sons shoe built up. He only wore that for a month before surgery. And now he needs new shoes, which we still have not purchased. Finally, the AFO that cost me a mere $475. Yea, he has worn that about 10 times maybe. Now it is no good because if you can’t straighten your leg, you can’t wear it. It will be used again though, so it is not a total waste.

Perhaps this will be the thing that will finally make the difference. It is going to constantly stretch his leg, but will not be painful. It is suppose to do the same thing as if a therapist was stretching his leg for 8 hours a day.

Before this whole experience, I had thought of the medical system as being an exact science. But it has been more about trial and error for us. Something between voodoo and a dart board. Too their credit, they did save his life. He is alive and kicking, if not walking.

So another opportunity for me to practice my patience skills. And a chance to tackle what seems like mission impossible: get a fourteen year old to do something he doesn't want to do. When we first got home, he only wore it for a few minutes, but over the weekend it is getting better, and so perhaps it will not be failure yet. I just read something in the Ensign that said that there is no time table for perfection. I need to stop have unrealistic expectations of the timing of his total recovery, then maybe I won't be disappointed so often.

So time will tell.

Watermelon Head

You may or may not have noticed my sparse appearance in the blogiverse this week. My MIA status can be blamed on a horrible, terrible, not good head cold. I have been expecting to get sick, with how thin I have stretched myself, and I suppose it turned out to be a self fulfilling prophecy.

Things I hate about being sick:

The feeling that your head will explode at any given moment.

Red, puffy, swollen eyes that won't stop crying.

Red, irritated nose that would give Rudolf a run for his money.

Sneezing, with a seismic rating of 8.0 on the Richter scale. Can we say the big one?

The feverish chills and sweating episodes.

Ears that are plugged and feel like you are underwater.

The waterfall of yucky stuff coming from your sinuses, requiring the use of 10 boxes of Kleenex and 6 rolls of TP.

Children who insist that life go on as normal such as meals and transportation.

Yesterday, my husband was home and I went to bed at 2 o'clock in the afternoon, after taking all the cold medicine I could find. I had a fitful 5 hour nap, was up for a few hours, and then spent the rest of the night tossing and turning.

Surely it can't go on for that long. I have been drinking about 3 or 4 emergencies a day. That's probably enough vitamin C to kill the wost of any virus. We will see. In the mean time I will just have to get used to feeling like me head is the size of a watermelon.

Tag I'm it

Ok so I was tagged and because it didn't require that much effort on my part other than rearranging my pictures and folders on my computer, I have replied to the tag. Sorry Anjeny, I know I am a cheater. But seriously, I just couldn't post some of the things I saw in my folders.

So here is the tag, go to the 6th folder and open the 6th picture and post it on your blog.

Here is Diana with her gingerbread house that was a purchased kit. Nice huh.

Exercise releases the stress in your life, unless it is opposite day.

I went back to the gym on Friday night, for the first time since October. That brings the total number of times I have taken advantage of my membership to six. Five times in October, and one time in February. So let's see, that would make my per visit cost to be about $25. Stop it, inner accountant, let it go.

So for my $25 dollars, I have been subjected to the humiliation of seeing myself in all the mirrors. The horror and terror, I am pretty sure I saw a small child cry and run away. At least I am sure it would have if it wasn't being entertained at the play room.

I think if I ever own a gym, there will be a no mirror rule. Or better yet, the mirrors should be magical and show you what you will look like if you continue to come to the gym, because then when you see yourself at home, you would jump in the car and go to the gym to see your self the way you could be.

Or maybe for that much money, they could provide me with a blindfold and guide dog to get me from the dressing room to the machines in the women's gym. Or better yet, how about a conveyor belt like they have in airports. I think it is so rude to make people walk to where they are going to be exercising. We should just be able to ride along and jump off where we want to start our work out.

In addition to humiliation, as an added bonus, I get to have TMI (too much information) in the form of what color thong underwear the person exercising in front of me is wearing, because her sweats keep falling down. Or if she bends over to stretch. Again with the horror and terror. Seriously there should be a law or something. Can I get an amen sister? Talk about a bang for your buck. Eeeewww.

Then there is the annoying part when you can't get one of the machines that has a TV on it and lets you pick the channel you want to watch, so you can numb your senses about the fact that you are exercising. Instead, you are stuck with the four TV choices that are up on the wall. These consist of MTV, Comedy Channel, Fox News, or discovery channel showing Dirty Jobs. I would much rather watch the food channel while I am exercising. Might as well plan what you deserve to eat because you exercised, right?

Man this is good stuff, I should become a marketer for the gym, huh?

After the gym, I decided to stop and get some Chinese food. My husband was gone on a camp out, and I didn't feel like cooking after working out.

Diana was with me, she loves the playroom at the gym, especially the DDR, dance video game they have.

She took the keys out of the ignition and said she would hold them for me. I should have known better. This is me and my life we are talking about here. Have I learned, nothing from the past. Apparently not, so I am doomed, doomed I say.

We ordered. Waited patiently in an impatient way for our food. Then we headed to the car. I looked for the keys, at which time I remembered that she had them last. I asked her where the keys were to which she replied she didn't have them. Problem.

We went back inside, and I asked if anyone had turned in some keys. No luck. We searched everywhere she had been in the restaurant, the table, the pop/soda machine, everywhere. NO keys.

I went out and looked to see if they were still in the car. NO. We looked to see if they had fallen on the ground while we were walking in. NOPE.

My mind raced as to what to do. My husband was gone right, so he was useless. Actually at this moment the other two spare keys to my car are lost and this was the only one I had. I cursed my lack of making 20 copies for just such occasions.

Just as a side note, about 18 years ago, I lost a set of car keys while I was at work. I drove the 17 miles to work in the morning, and then even went out to lunch. But when it was time to go home, no keys to be found anywhere. Finally my husband had to get someone to drive him to bring me an extra key as we were a one car family at the time. Good grief. And I never did find that key. Who knows. Bermuda triangle, is my best theory.

So back to my daughter and me, stranded at Pick up Styx. I was thinking that she may have dropped them into the garbage can when she threw away the wrapper to her straw. I looked in to see if anything was evident. NO. Just uneaten food, napkins, drink cups. You know just the kind of thing you would rather be dead than stick your hand into.

It was as I was weighing the options of searching through the disgusting trash can, calling a friend to give us a ride home leaving the car stranded, or paying an arm and a leg to a lock smith, when a worker came and saved our life. One of the other workers had found the keys somewhere. We were spared from spending our Friday night dumpster diving.

It is at this point that I am thinking my kids are ganging up on me to see how long it will take me to pull all my hair out. They must really want to see me bald. What will be my breaking point? I bet they even have a pool.

And I still have the answered questions of will my nice padded cell have Internet connection so I can still blog, and when they come to take me away and put me in the straight jacket, will it make me look fat.

There never was a child so lovely but her mother was glad to get her asleep.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Another of life's little practical jokes, in which I consider if pulling all my hair out would be worth the cost of a wig.

Today we had another fun filled trip to a medical appointment. Only this one had a very special twist in which I came close to having a nervous breakdown, so it was extra special.

I worked for a few hours this morning, and came home to pick up Jared and take him to his follow up appointment with the gastric doctor. We left in a bit of hurry. Jared beat me to the car and was sitting inside of it honking the horn in short sporadic rhythmic spurts. I was not amused as I was running around inside the house trying to gather a few things, like his shoes and socks that he conveniently did not put on.

So I jumped in the car and off we went. He hadn't had lunch, but a quick/not so quick stop by Wendys solved that problem.

I have only driven to this doctor office one other time and it was from the pediatricians office, so I wasn't quite sure about how to get there. Minor irritating details of life.

It is right next to the hospital that we went to last week, but after driving there, I was convinced that I had taken the scenic route, so today I opted for what I hoped would be the fastest route.

Our appointment was for 2:15, and we pulled into the parking lot about 2:05. Our parking karma seemed to be all used up. Not a spot to be found, let alone a handicap one. What is with all these handicap people and doctors offices?

After circling several times, I spotted someone walking to their car, and followed them at what I hoped was a distance that did not scare her, but at the same time let other drivers in my same plight know that I had staked a claim to the soon to be vacant spot.

At last she pulled out, and in my eagerness we almost kissed bumpers, but I manged to avoid the fun that comes with car accidents today. So I pulled in and felt triumphant. We would need to walk a ways, but Jared said he could do it.

As I got out of the car, and went to get the crutches out for Jared, an empty back seat met my ever widening eyes of terror. I looked again. Not much chance of missing crutches that are tall enough for a 6'2" kid. No crutches.

I said to Jared, "Why aren't your crutches in the car" To which he bravely/stupidly responded "I guess you didn't put them in". Oh Mylanta.

At this point I called into the doctors office and spoke to someone and explained the absurd situation we were facing.

Yes, we are here for appointment that is in 5 minutes, but we have no way to get up to the second floor.

Does the doctor make car visits? No I didn't think so.

Is it really necessary that he actually see the patient in the flesh? Yes, I thought you would say that.

Do you have a wheel chair in your office I could use? No, but maybe next door at the hospital.

OK, I will try.

As I was having this conversation I was walking through the medical office building looking for a wheel chair. No luck.

So I went back out to the car and pulled around the corner to the valet parking. No one was there so I left Jared sitting in the car and told him to tell the valet guy to just wait to park the car.

I entered the lobby, and saw a volunteer information desk that was unattended. So I went back to where we had been last week. Down several long halls. I came to a door that was stuck a little bit, but when I put my shoulder to it, it gave way and I went back to the surgery center.

It was barren as the Sahara desert. Not a person to be seen anywhere. Obviously they were closed today. So I tried to get back to the lobby, but the door that I had to push so hard on, it was now closed all the way and locked.

Great now I am trapped in side this place. It's not that I don't love hospitals mind you, but being trapped somewhere was not my idea of a good time as I was on a mission impossible. And what would I do? Call 911 and say, hey I am trapped in a closed, locked section of the hospital, can you send a fire truck or something?

Instead I gathered my wits, although sparse at the moment, and saw a door marked "Authorized Personnel Only". Now I don't know what they meant by authorized, but if they meant someone who was about to have a meltdown, then I was authorized.

So I pushed on the door, and it opened. And then I walked down a long hallway full of people, nurses, doctors, patients IN WHEEL CHAIRS. And no one even spoke to me. Do you think it was my crazed face of determination? And it was like when you want to buy a certain car and all you see on the road is that particular car, do you know what I mean? Surely not everyone had a wheel chair, but it seemed like it.

Eventually I found myself back in the lobby, where I felt as if I had just run a marathon, not that I would know what that feels like, but if running a marathon makes you feel like you want to fall on the floor and never walk again after throwing up, then that was how I felt.

I plead with someone at the express check in TO FIND ME A WHEEL CHAIR. Perhaps something in my eyes warned her not to trifle with me, and so she went to see what she could find.

She was not soon in returning, at which point I noticed that the volunteer desk was now occupied. I hastened to her desk, where she said I could use her wheel chair as long as I brought it back. I was desperate. I told her I would be happy to give her my drivers license/credit card/second born son (Jared) as a deposit. She said it wouldn't be necessary.

The good news during all of this is that Jared had lost his phone, and so I was spared the text messages and calls informing me of his impending death or blood clot as he waited impatiently in the car. The bad news is that I did not have my mp3, and even if I did, I do not have a playlist titled musicforthefranticsearchforawheelchairbecauseyouhavenocrutches. How unprepared of me. Surely I could have anticipated such a thing if I were only physic.

The wheel chair did not have any foot rests so he had to try and hold his legs up. We raced off to the medical office building. We sped by an old lady with a walker. On the bright side it was a nice sunny day.

After all of that, the rest of the appointment was pretty boring. The doctor told us that the biopsy showed that his stomach is a bit inflamed. This could be due to stress, medications, or other things. Although he couldn't really say why it was like that, he could give him some medication that would coat his stomach. He needs to take it 40 minutes before eating. Jared is to take it for a week and then if he doesn't feel better, the next thing is to have an ultrasound.

We checked out and headed back to get the car. It was at this point that I realized that I did not have any cash. For some reason the line from Pride and Prejudice came to mind: "I wish that I had saved up money with which to bribe silly young men into marrying my daughters, but alas I did not." Or something like that. I too wish I had a stash of ones which which to tip valet parkers for desparate times when we can not park our own cars.

Do you think it was too ridiculous to tip someone with two quarters? The guy was very understanding and didn't even give me a dirty look, but I wonder what he said to his co worker. Maybe they pool the tips. That would be good, huh.

And so another medical story comes to a close. I suppose I should be grateful for such good material to blog about, but I am not sure that I wouldn't rather be postless.

I'm a working mom survivor!

Well as crash commented on my last post, yes my working days outside of the home are officially over. I submitted a time sheet for 87 hours for the past two weeks. I think cartwheels, back flips, balloons, and confetti are in order. But I am too tired for that, so I will settle for falling onto my bed in a coma.

It is interesting, my job last week for the actual furniture show, was to stand at the doorway of the Global Views showroom and greet people. You know saying things like "Welcome to Global Views" and the always popular "Have a nice day". I did, however, manage to squeeze in a few ba bye's ala Helen Hunt on Saturday Night live stewardess sketch. But man being cheerful and smiling all day long is exhausting.

Can you imagine what would happen if when customers asked "How are you today?" I responded with saying "well my back is killing me, my feet hurt even worse, and I have a son with multiple medical issues, and a mother and mother in law both undergoing Chemo for breast cancer. Not to mention a husband whose job wants to cut back his hours, a pool that looks like a swamp and a house that looks like a candidate for clean sweep or some other television make over show, and I am not prepared for the pandemic flu that I keep reading is coming, let alone knowing what to do with my wheat, despite my ward's valiant efforts to teach me. "

So instead of scaring customers away, I lie through my teeth about 500 times a day and say "I am fine, How are you?" And they probably lie right back to me as well.

All this faking it did seem to rub off a tiny bit. It was a change for me, and sometimes a change is as good as a rest. But other times a coma or a straight jacket are as good as a rest.

I do bow down in ardent admiration to any working mothers. Honestly I have no idea how you can do it all the time. I have seriously neglected my full time motherhood job, for my full time paying job for three weeks. Hopefully no one is scarred for life. And hey now I can pay for their therapy, right? And now I can try to get every one back on track and doing what they are suppose to be doing, when they are suppose to be doing it.

So I am extremely grateful for the extra cash, which is already spent and will go to paying off debts. But it has nearly killed me both physically and emotionally and to say I am glad it is over would be an understatement like saying the Titanic was a little bit wet and cold.

Perhaps it will help me appreciate the blessing of having only one full time job. We will see. I already made two phone calls about medical issues today, so it is good to have time to work on those problems again. Just like when it is good to get a root canal. And now I am taking my daughter to the mall for a long promised trip. Although I don't remember the promising, but she assures me that the promise was made and insists I make good on said promise.

Some important things were learned during my foray into the work field:

A family can survive for three weeks on cold cereal, chips, frozen food both cooked and uncooked, and various canned goods. Although no one cracked open the number 10 cans of wheat, so it couldn't have been that big of an emergency, despite their cries otherwise.

The day of miracles has not ceased as attested to by the fact that my 17 year old found his work shoes one day and his apron and cap on another day all by his very own self. This is something that would have fallen under my expertise had I been home to rescue him. Good job of bending and lifting things and looking in more than one place, son.

It would appear that I am the one doing much of the stuff that needs doing around here, as most things did not happen. You know things like getting the mail, picking things up around the house, handling of school affairs, and life's little luxuries like food and water. To my husbands credit, he did do the laundry one Saturday, which can not be discounted in its helpfulness to me.

Although I had assumed otherwise, I was able to adapt to the custom of putting on a bra, clothes, and make up every day. I figured that it was a habit I had manage to completely break but wearing a bra, clothes, and make up must be like riding a bike. Easy to get back into. Although I have never ridden a bike without my clothes so perhaps I have nothing with which to compare it to. Anywho, I even wore clothes that made me look professional, instead of a bag lady having a bad hair day.

Truth be told, I would never want to have a career. Way to much pressure. Unless it was a career as a Broadway star, then I might be interested. So for now, I will be very content to return to my life as a full time mom with my little some times part time job.

And who knows someday, when my kids are grown, I may find myself returning to the workforce in my chosen profession of accountant, but til then you will find me bra less, laying on my couch, eating bon bons watching Oprah. Oh, yeah and resuming my position as the chief operating officer of our household as well.

If you pay attention, real life can be funny.

I know that most of you spent your Valentines evening in romantic pursuits, but not me. My husband in out of town for the weekend and so I got together with some other people who noticed it was single awareness day.

We had some of the best tasting pizza I have ever eaten. Thanks Melanie. It is called the California pizza from Grazziano's and look at it. Does it look scrumdiliumptious or what? At least if you like ham, olives, fresh tomatoes and avocados, then it is pretty much a slice of heaven on earth. I was so sad that my stomach did not have room for more.

After consuming a copious amount of pizza, we watched Singin' in the Rain and did our nails. Also we had some back massagers that people could sit on to relieve any stress they were feeling.

It was a ton of fun. Hopefully we will do it again soon.

After that, Diana and I went and returned my microwave (see last post), went to the bank, and finally the grocery store. Where we wandered around and found some new things we had never noticed before.

I have never seen squeaky cheese (cheese curds) anywhere but Utah before, but we found some in the deli section. Does Diana's face say "Wow, this could not be more exciting if it were a bag of gold", or what?

And then in the freezer section, this fun little item. Luckeeeee! Can it go off any cool jumps? Vote for Pedro and all that fun lingo. Tell me your favorite Napoleon quote in my comment box, unless you don't have one, in which case I like you anyway.

So I think it was a very nice evening, even if I didn't get chocolate or flowers. I'm not really into that anyway, and my husband has had a $50 gift card to Cheesecake factory that we hope to use in the very near future. So it is all good in the neighborhood.

A story with a happy ending.

I did not have time to speak of all the ridiculous shenanigans that went on in purchasing a new microwave two weeks ago.

Let’s just say that Home Depot, Sears, and Sam’s do not actually stock microwaves that you can carry home with you at the time of your purchase.

They do however stock some interesting/mentally challenged employees who will try to sell you a microwave that would be delivered 5 days later for a $65 dollar delivery fee.

Finally at my fourth stop, Lowes, I found a microwave I could buy that night and take home with me. And that was thanks to some online searching by my sister in Utah, via my distraught cell phone convo at the time I was driving from store to store in Vegas.

So everyone take note, just go to Lowes if you have a microwave 911 situation. Because that is exactly what I was facing. Yes it might say something about me that I could live six months without a vacuum, but not even two days without a microwave.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, even if I had to buy the microwave out of the staff lounge, I would not be returning home with out one. With me working, the children had to have a way to feed themselves.

My husband was off doing YM president stuff that involved an eight hour merit badge clinic, so hence I was alone in my quest.

This was both good news and bad news. I got to pick which one I wanted and he usually has strong opinions about such things and we usually do not spend such a large amount of money with out consenting each other. But did I mention the desperation/anxiety/end of my ropeness, I was experiencing? Think heroin addict going through withdrawals.

Yeah, so when he got home and I said "look at our beautiful new microwave." He could see by the glazed/crazed look in my eyes that it would be best to say "Looks good to me". Right answer.

He was so tired that he just took it out of the box and placed it on the counter. And there it has been functioning wonderfully for the past two weeks.

Thursday afternoon while Jared and I were gone to the hospital, my older son decided to make himself some lunch.

This is what the package looked like before an absent minded 17 year old got a hold of it and put it in my beautiful new microwave. (Cue ominous music usually reserved for horror movies.)

If one was inclined to read the directions and follow them, one might notice that one should add water to the noodles in the package and cook in microwave for 6 minutes.

If one is a 17 year old male, with better things to do than follow directions, one might just put the package in the microwave, hit 6 minutes and walk away, with nary a care in the world.

And when the house fills with the smells of an outdoor camp fire, one might expect one to notice.

But one (namely me) might find oneself extremely disappointed/dejected/deranged/in disbelief that one's house now smells like it has had a fire pit burning in the living room.

This is what I met my eyes when I opened the microwave.

And no amount of cleaning, opening of windows, spraying of air freshener, or ranting and raving, made any difference the first day. I finally realized that the smell was in the microwave itself. The inside was permanently stained a golden brown. No amount of bleach even made a dent. And I think the filters and inside were permanently charred.

I tried not to despair that my brand new microwave now smelt to high heaven of burnt offerings. But I was tempted to make some burnt offerings of my own, if you know what I mean.

I put the microwave in the garage, and that did help a bit with the smell in the house. It is still smelly, though.

My sister told me I should take it back, because you can take anything back the first 30 days. I wasn't so convinced, but I figured I didn't have anything to loose.

So here is Diana doing a very nice Vanna impression as we are taking the microwave into Lowes.

Did I mention that by some divine intervention, I for once had purchased the extended warranty on the darn thing? I don't think it mattered, but it couldn't have hurt.

I walked up to the return desk at 8:30 pm and told the girl at the register that I needed to return my microwave. She asked why, and I said because it smells of smoke and I can't keep it. She asked what happened, and I openly admitted that my son had burned something in it.

At this point the manager was called. He asked the same questions, and I was equally open with him. He checked my receipt and because it was less that 30 days, he said they would refund my money.

And so the same guy that loaded/crammed it into the back seat of my car, helped me out with a brand new microwave. And we left the burnt offering back at Lowe's.

It seems to good to be true. But this time, a tragic event has actually worked out to be Okay. Who'd have thunk it?

Down scope

Well some of you might be interested in the latest medical developments at our house. If you are not, you are in the wrong place. Toodle loo.

Today was the day for Jared's endoscopy. Even though I have been working ridiculous hours that have left me with the energy of a wet noodle, I manged to feel stress/anxiety/concern over yet another medical procedure. I hate it when life's little/ginormous worries make their way into my dreams/nightmares. So not fair. Sleep should be a safe haven, but alas the sub conscience says it isn't so.

Because the procedure would involve anesthesia and because the medical system takes pride in poking me in the eye as often as it can, Jared had to be NPO starting at midnight last night. For those of you who did not go to medical school NPO stands for Nil per os, which in English means nothing by mouth, and in Jaredspeak means Nothing Pleasant Out of his mouth, once he woke up this morning.

I gathered all I could think to take with us to the hospital, which was pretty much my whole house including the kitchen sink. I kept throwing things into the back seat of the car as we were preparing to leave. The lap top, the heating pad, my gospel doctrine manual, and so on.

After much groaning and moaning and wailing, I had him in the car and we backed down the drive way. A minute later I remembered I had forgotten the movies to watch on the lap top. So we did a u-turn and I ran in to get something to occupy the hours of waiting.

It was at this point that I got a lovely call from my daughter at her school informing me that it was picture day. I mentally thought about what she had worn to school. Nothing ripped, stained, or unflattering, good news. But I had not filled out the form and sent a check. So we made a quick pit stop at the school in which I ran in, filled out paper work, and wrote a check. It was my last check, how life did not decide to spit on me by my check book already being empty was nothing short of a miracle. And the first blessing of the day.

The other good news was that I was spared all of the drama that picture day usually brings. No complaints that her hair wasn't right or she didn't have the right outfit. I have decided that I wish it would be this way every time. Surprise picture days totally rock.

So we were off to the hospital. Did I mention that it was our third hospital since this whole medical crisis first began last July? I suppose before he is totally recovered, we will have attended all the hospitals in Vegas. But I am not setting it as a goal or anything. Do you hear that universe? I will be content with just the three hospitals we have visited. Although if we do go to all of them I could write a nice little book reviewing all of them. Kind of a medical Zagat rating system, if you will.

This hospital is called Summerlin hospital, and guess what? They had valet parking. This was totally awesome because the little picture fiasco had delayed us a bit and we were a few minutes late. So when I saw "Complimentary Valet parking" I was all over that, like white on rice.

This is where it got a little embarrassing, as the valet guy had to wait while I stuffed all of the contents of my back seat into a tote bag. He kept trying to close the door and race off to park my car, and I kept saying just a minute, I need this one more thing. Anyone thinking of the valet parking guy scene from Ferris Bueller's Day Off? I hope that did not happen, but my car is not that exciting to drive.

We wandered the halls for a while until we found where we were supposed to be. Then the fun of filling out the forms and co pays. A nurse came by, and Jared asked if there was any way he could lay down. So she took him right back, while I finished up.

The nurses there were very kind and could not believe all that Jared has been through at such a young age. He was finally able to get the public Wifii to work and kept himself busy with the laptop. I listened to my hospital play list on my mp3, which consists of songs that soothe my aching heart. Also I took advantage of some time to read my lesson for Sunday.

They started an IV and took his vitals. I answered questions from the nurses and anesthesiologist. Before I knew it, it was his turn to be wheeled away. As long as I live, I don't think I will ever get used to the way my stomach feels when that moment comes. I know he will be fine, I know that it is no big deal to have an endoscopy. But I also know that last summer I came close to losing him and I hate not being right by his side at every moment. I some times wonder if at any moment I will just loose my ability to hold it all together and just turn to a puddle of liquid on the floor.

I went to the waiting room and enjoyed the laptop and checked up on some blogs. Before I knew it, the doctor was back to talk to me. He said that everything went well and that he could see nothing obviously wrong. He handed me a nice picture of a pink esophagus and stomach.

This is suppose to be good news. But it means that there is still no explanation as to why he is having stomach pain that is keeping him from school and continuing on his road to recovery. They did take a biopsy and we go to get the results of that next week.

Soon after that they called me back to recovery. This was very funny, because Jared was feeling pretty happy by now. They let him have some juice and he was saying the funniest things. Good news he did not swear. The nurse told me that most kids swear when they are waking up, even if their parents think they don't swear. So apparently even sub consciously Jared does not have a language problem. Good to know.

He told me Happy Birthday and he kept asking the nurse the same questions over and over. It was pretty hilarious. He even asked if there was anyway he could spend the night at the hospital. That can't be a good sign when he wants to be at the hospital rather than being at home.

And before you could say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, we were being wheeled out to the car. We arrived at 9:30 and left at 1:00. I have had longer stays at the ER and urgent care centers.

So best of all it is over. Now that I will be done working, I will go back to working on getting him healthy enough to get back to school. So far in 4 weeks he has only gone 4 days. I will get him signed up on home bound schooling which will mean a teacher will come to the house. I have to get him back to physical therapy 3 times a week, because we have taken a break for the past 2 weeks.

Next week there is a list a mile long of things I have been putting off for the past three weeks. I know I will be glad when I deposit my check and pay my bills I will be even happier.

So we survived another encounter with the medical system and lived to tell about it.

Happy Birthday to you twos!!!

Yes, today is the birthday of my brother shown here in his best gondola impression with all the little girl cousins on my side of family. That is a boat load of giggles he has got on his hands.

This particular brother is 3 years younger than me, and we have some great memories of ganging up on our sister who is in between us in the family. (sorry kris, send me your therapy bills). We also shared many fun times and adventures, although I could have done with out the memory of when he let a gardner snake loose in the house and I found it in the kitchen and proceeded to dance on the table whilst screaming for him to get it out of there.

He also happens to be married to Funny Farmer and is one lucky guy in that department.

And if that wasn't reason enough to celebrate, it is also the birthday of my wonderful sister in law, Jessica. She is lucky to be married to another of my brothers, and we are very lucky to have her in our family.

I don't know why her picture is smaller than my brother's. It is not intentional, Jess, OK.

Jessica is an awesome sister in law and even better friend. I count my self lucky in that I was the only one from my family to attend her bridal shower because I lived in Ca where she was from at the time.

She is an great mom, scrap booker, clogger, and friend. I love how creative she is and how her house is always put together. We have shared some good good times together since she joined the family.

So Happy, Happy Birthday to both of you! Hope your day was wonderful.

Another riduculous post in which I use my blog instead of paying for therapy.

You know how sometimes you wake up and everything in the world just seems right, the sun is shinning, you get the last bowl of your favorite cereal from the box, butterflies flit around your head as you walk to your car, and the day just gets better and better after that? Do you know what I am talking about? Well this is not one of those days.

Some wise person once said "When you reach the end of your rope tie a knot and hang on." I think I am there. But it is tempting to tie the knot around my throat instead.

Last night I got home at 8:00 pm and did the dishes that had been sitting there since Sunday all the while crying because I feel so overwhelmed and inadequate to deal with everything going on in my life right now. I prepared a delicious meal of Taco Bell burritos and Tacos. Folded the laundry that was on my bed so I could fall onto it in utter and complete exhaustion.

I am so tired of being everything, to everyone I could just pull my hair out and scream until my voice is gone.

And guess what I don't want to make it, I don't want to get through this. If one more person tells me that I am strong enough to do this, I will strangle them with my bare hands. Unless that would break a nail. Maybe not such a good idea.

Ok I just had to get that out of my system. Vent over. Move along people. Maybe I won't even post this, because I just posted the thing about Diana's fashion show that has been in my draft box for about two weeks.

Crash says I throw the best pity parties, so just FYI refreshments of hot fudge brownies are being served in my comment box. And I make the best hot fudge you have ever had. Just so you know. One of these days I am going to post that recipe.

So if you leave a comment, could it be a joke, because I really need to laugh right now, crying is so last year.

Fashionista

A couple weeks ago, our stake had an Activity day activity. They divided all the girls into 3 groups and they rotated through three stations. They had a friendship activity, and etiquette lesson, and a card making class. After all the rotations, they had some of the girls do a fashion show of modest clothing.

Here is the before shot of the three girls from our ward. They wanted the girls to have accessories, so Diana and her friend are using cell phones. And no it is not hers, but she desperately wishes it were.

Here they are on the runway showing off their accessory.

This is pretty much her dream come true. Cute clothes, curled hair, a little make up, and a cell phone. In her world it doesn't get better than this.

And finally my little budding runway star. Strike a pose girl. Way to work it out.

The whole thing was lots of fun. Diana favorite class was the etiquette one, because they got to practice eating.

And the fashion show was too much fun also. It is interesting because I am so not a girly girl. But this child is so the opposite of me. She is a clothes and shoe horse. She seriously has more shoes than me. I love my little fashionista.

At least someone is getting some use out of our exercise equipment

Just the Facts Mam

In Joe Friday fashion I will try to convey the events of the past week in a readers digest fashion:

- I worked 48 hours between Tuesday and Saturday. Friday I worked for RAZ from 9-6 and then went over and worked at Global Views until 8:30. After I got home I had to run to Target and get a birthday present for a sleep over that Diana was invited to at the last minute. Saturday I did sleep in, but then I went in and worked for 5 hours, came home and did 7 loads of laundry, shopped at 4 stores for a new microwave, because of course ours broke the day before, prepared a gospel doctrine lesson, and went grocery shopping. I am physically exhausted, can I get an Amen? Oh yes, the hamster wheel is on overdrive for sure.

- Jared started second semester, went to 2 out of 3 days the first week, 2 out of 5 days the second week, and it doesn't look like he will go this week at all.

- His problem now, besides the ever debilitating nerve pain, is abdominal pain. It has been getting worse over the past few weeks. This past week has been the worst, and at first I thought it was the flu, and of course said suck it up, to him.

- Finally it was so bad Sunday night, that I took him into the ER. I hated to go. I postponed it as long as my conscience would allow. Then I packed up as if I were moving back to the hospital just in case. I wore my warmest sweatshirt. I took my phone charger. No one can say that I have not learned a thing or two about visits to ERs and hospitals. We were there from 7 til midnight. They took a urine sample, did a CBC, and took x-rays of his stomach. They couldn't find anything horribly wrong, so they sent us home to see our pediatrician and get a referral to a gastric specialist. I recognized one of the nurses from the night he was admitted back in July. They did guess that it is an ulcer, but they do not do those kinds of tests at the ER, hence the need for the specialist.

- This morning, I called to get an appointment at 8:00 and was told Wednesday was the soonest. So I called the special doctor office number that I have and they said could we be there at 9:30. We hurried and dropped Diana off at school and headed out on our medical quest.

- Checking in, filling out forms, waiting, waiting, and more waiting, then the pediatrician came in and checked him over, agreed that he needed the specialist and called to see when they would see us. He came back and said could we be there at 11:00, it was 10:30. So we did our best amazing race impersonation because the other office was 20 mins away.

- More checking in, more forms, more waiting, waiting, waiting. The Gastric specialist wanted more blood work done to check his liver, pancreas, and gall bladder levels. Also he scheduled us to be scoped next week on Thursday. I am suppose to work that day, but they will have to let me have it off.

- Next we went to the lab, where guess what we checked in, filled out forms, and waited. One couple who were there before us got so mad because someone was taken back before them. The receptionist tried to explain that the person was a STAT order and so they go to the front of the line. This older gentleman pretty much threw a hissy fit and finally left. Which was entertaining to watch and then we moved up in line. I did share his pain though.

- Sorry this is so sloppily written and not very humorous. But it will give you some idea of why I am so missing in action. I hardly have time to breath. This week could be a little bit easier on the work hours and that just might save my sanity which is hanging by the tiniest sliver of something.

The other night I woke up screaming out loud, which is either a sign that I am too stressed out or I just like my profile picture so much that I try to imitate it at any given moment.

I will get through this. I am reading a book called When you can't do it alone, or something like that. He talks about having a break down as a mission president when the stress got to be to much and how focusing on Christ and his love helped him get through hard times. I will keep telling myself that I can do this, and I will make it and maybe I can fake it til I make it.