It's a RAZ Christmas

As I am still playing catch up, here are some more things I never managed to get on here earlier.

I worked an awful lot throughout the month and I was glad I was able to get the decorations up early.

This is the only picture I took Christmas morning. Diana was thrilled to get an I-pod and I-tunes card. It was really all she wanted. I was happy for her, because now I get her old mp3 player, which is just like mine that I washed in the washer and ruined. It was a win win for both of us.
Here is our offering to Santa. Notice my fun RAZ decorations as well. When you work for a Christmas store, it is ridiculously dangerous. I am not really sure why they bother sending me a paycheck, I just turn around and give it right back to them. But I sure got some beautiful things.

This is a shot of my cute little nativity, that my husband and I painted many moons ago. BK, before kids when we had more time and money. It looked so cute on the new mirror with a shelf that hangs over my fireplace. Sorry about the light in the mirror.

Diana was thrilled with her gingerbread village. I was thrilled that it was a project she completed on her own. I was a great thing to help keep her busy.

This is a shelf I got from RAZ last fall. My nativities looked adorable on it and loved that they were all together. Of course I have more than this, but this is a small sampling.

I got this amazing garland and ribbon at RAZ. I am not sure it is going to make it to next year because the fake snow kept flaking off of it. But is sure looked nice this year.

This was my favorite purchase. I love this caroling family. They looked so cheery and musical.

I actually got this Santa at RAZ in January last year. Isn't he fun?

Here is my favorite Santa. He has piercing blue eyes. And I love how he is all white. So so pretty. I couldn't resist him. And notice the wreath behind him that matches the garland on the stairs. I had to have that as well.

This is my little Santa vignette at the bottom of my stairs. It made me smile every time I walked by these little guys.

When my husband put all of the Christmas boxes in the attic he declared a moratorium on my Christmas decoration purchases. There is no more room up there, or so he says. Well what about the fact that Trent goes on him mission this year? I will have a whole new room to store things in. What about that?

Pat's Ponderings

It has been a really long time since I have done an installment of my ponderings. I wonder what that says about me. Either I haven't been spending much time pondering, or I just haven't had time to put my ponderings down in the written form. Let's go with the later option as it makes me look better. I am sure that it is inconceivable that I would be too busy and stressed to ponder.

Here is the situation. I have been working 2 - 3 days a week since Halloween. Surprisingly enough, there were things I accomplished when I was not working. Who knew? Things around here are looking a bit neglected. And I have noticed that sadly feeding my spiritual self has been neglected as well. My scripture reading has been sporadic and mostly related to teaching gospel doctrine. My prayers are often more of memo, rather than a lengthy conversation with the Lord. The result and no surprise, I feel spiritually weakened.

Last week I had a day off. An unscheduled day that has been far and few in number in the past month. I wondered what to do with such a precious thing. As I was helping Diana get ready to go to a special tutoring program that starts at 7:30, it came to me that I should go to the temple.

Yes, the temple, where I could feast in the presence of the Lord. Where I could get away from the clamour of daily living. Surely my empty bucket could be filled in the house of the Lord.

I threw on a dress and hurried Diana along. Grabbing my suitcase and recommend, I dashed out the door.

Traffic was not good at that time of day. Impatiently, I followed the cars ahead of me. Down Rainbow, up the 95, exit at Charleston, and over to Bonanza. Slowing for school zones that are not usually in effect when I go later. Bottom line it was not the quickest time I have made getting there.

As I pulled into the parking lot, I was surprised to see not very many other cars. I thought to myself, hmmm not many people go to the temple this early. Then it dawned on me, all the cars were trucks with business logos on the side. Wait, I think I remember hearing something at church about the Temple being closed for maintenance.

Dang. No feasting, no peace, no filling of my bucket. I turned around and made my way home. I know just how the foolish virgins felt. I should have gone to the temple the week before. Some of my friends and family told me I would still be blessed for my efforts. I suppose it is true that the desire of my heart would be known by the Lord. But still I couldn't help feeling that I could have made different choices.

I was back home by 8:45. All my kids at school and nothing on the schedule, I went back to bed. What else was there to do?

Trip to Seattle back in October 2010 (oops I meant 2009, I do not have a time machine in the form of a Dalorean)

I stumbled across this unposted post in my draft box. Since I am trying to catch up over the past few months, I might as well publish it.

Last October Jared and I flew to Seattle so he could get his patriarchal blessing from my Dad, who is a patriarch there. I was an incredibly fast trip, we were only there for 32 hours, but it was wonderful and something worth noting.

Here is Jared with his grandpa. It is very special to be able to get your blessing from your Grandpa. I hope he realizes how lucky he is.



And here is the shot of him with Grandpa and Grandma.



And one with me as well.




Here he is with his good friend and cousin, Michael. There are just six months apart and sad that they don't live closer. But they have a great time when they do get to be together.

Brandon jumped in on this picture. Jared and Brandon have always been great friends. I think that maybe the fact that they both have older brothers has helped them bond together. They always have fun together as well.


And here Laura joined in for one big group shot.

It was a great to visit my parents one on one. In a large family that doesn't happen very often. It was also wonderful to see my sister and her kids. All in all it was a wonderful weekend and Jared received a beautiful blessing. And yes, it was worth missing attending the BYU/UNLV game here in Vegas.

You can't always have what you want, but sometimes you can.

You know how so many days as a mother you wonder if you are even making any difference? All those sleepless nights, and cleaning up messes, and shivering in the cold at ball games. I remember many days thinking, what the heck am I doing and how did I get myself into this? And as an infertile person, I actually took extra effort, yes, even extra ordinary measures to procure these children who since joining my family have made every effort to suck my will to live. I often joke that I don't know which is the greater trial, infertility or parenthood.

And so there have been days I have wondered why, why I didn't just leave well enough alone. Why did I go through all the tests and stress and frustrations at my lack of control, the hoops and years of waiting just so I could endure more pain and stress and frustrations at my lack of control, hoops and years of waiting, as I watched these kids trying to grow up and make decisions and become responsible adults? Never mind footing the bill for food and clothing.

I know that there are others who seem to just love every minute of mothering, but honestly I am not one of them. I have read their cheery posts on their blogs. Truth be told most of them seem to be mothers of children under 10, which might just be a coincidence, or might have a correlation. In any event, there have been many minutes in the past almost 19 years that I could have done with out quite nicely, thank you. But before you call CPS on me, truthfully there have been just as many minutes that were wonderful and happy and for those I am grateful.

Trent was ordained to the Melchizedek Priesthood after Stake Conference last Sunday. This was one of those days that makes you think it is all worthwhile. Over the past 6 years, it has not always been a given that this day would come. He has never strayed terribly far from the straight and narrow, but there were some years in there when he wasn't all that keen on going to church. We have had some struggles and contention even, over this fact. I have spent many times on my knees and at the temple, wondering what to do for this son of mine that I loved so dearly. And I know that I have received promptings many, many times as to a certain action I should take to help Trent grow. But truthfully, to protect my heart, I tried to accept the fact that this day might never happen.

Trent was placed with us for adoption the day before Mother's Day and Mother's Day went from being one of the worst days of the year for me, to one of the best. I have loved him and supported him, sometimes to his detriment as I do too much for him. Perhaps I have cherished him a little to much. We have always had a special bond. And yet every day I have tried to to my best and what I felt was best for him. Even if my judgement was clouded at times.

And so on Sunday, I found my self all amazed that the day had actually come. Tears flowed freely as I listened to my husband bestow this special power upon him and then gave him a special blessing. And then Trent stood next to my husband for the first time in a priesthood circle, as the next person was ordained. It was awe inspiring. Another joyous motherhood moment for which words do not seem adequate.

I am eternally grateful to my Heavenly Father for sending me this son. And for the guidance I have received over the years. Next up, getting the mission papers done and waiting for the call.

I still remember the day they placed him in my arms. I loved him so much instantly and thought secretly to myself, I will never be able to let him go on a mission. How could I ever let him go? Little did I know that 18 years later I would be strong enough and unselfish enough and even hoping for him to go.

Motherhood, it is quite a wild ride, isn't it?

Obligatory BYU Football Bowl Game Post

I already posted these pictures on facebook, but I think they are worth putting up here as well. They need to be on my blog for the next time I publish my BYU football posts into a book.

In case you didn't hear about the weather, it was COLD. As in ridiculously, incredibly, bone chillingly COLD. Did I mention it was cold. The temperature was about 40 degrees, but there was a gale force wind that just cuts right through you like a knife.

For any of you unaware, my husband by far prefers to watch a football game from the comfort of his own home. Thank goodness I have a son who is willing to attend games with me. I was not going to spring for the tickets, but he used the old "Mom, it will be my last bowl game before my mission" line to convince me.

Here we are before the game started. When we first pulled up, I proceeded to put on my twelve hundred layers. Trent watched for a moment and then asked if he could just take his ticket and go inside. I showed up twenty minutes later, once the sufficient cold fighting precautions and been applied to my body.

Here is a close up of the team near the end of the game when we went down closer.

Here is another shot I took of the two of us, because I wasn't really all that thrilled with the other one that the person behind us took. I wanted a real up close and personal one. So I did my famous at arm's length. Trent is doing his best "Seriously, you are going to take ANOTHER picture of us at the game" face. Yes, son, I am indeedy. Just embrace the madness.

Look at the cool cougar towel they handed out so we could wave them during the game. And wave them we did, there were many opportunities and reasons to cheer our cougars on. I was wonderful.

Here is a nice shot of me all bundled up. I take my state of warmth seriously. And good thing too. There were so many crazy people from Utah around us that were not prepared at all. Take the girl sitting next to me. She was from Salt Lake and she didn't even have any gloves. Silly, silly girl. I suppose people think, "Hey were going to Vegas, it will be warm." Well any of you who are disillusioned enough to think that it isn't cold here in the winter, let me disabuse you of that misguided notion. It gets very very cold in the desert when the sun goes down. I have really never experienced anything like it.

I was very happy that I had on ten layers, toes warmers, hand warmers, gloves, scarves, hats, and my nice down coat. I really was fairly warm, all things considered. The cold is not unbearable when you are prepared.

Here is my happy face when we won the game. Notice the fans storming the field in the background. We thought about it for a minute, but decided against it.

And here is the token screaming picture with the fans in the background. I may make this my new profile picture, what do you think?

Nice shot of the Y flag waving in the wind before the game.

I thought this couple were funny because they were together and she was a cougar fan and he was a beaver fan. How is this possible?

And finally a nice shot of the beaver mittens the girl next to us was wearing. Nice huh?

And so it is with much sadness that the 2009 chapter of BYU football stalking comes to a close.

Til we meet again. Parting is such sweet sorrow.

Catch Up Post

This post may go on and and on and I try and catch up on the various and sundry events that have happened. And since this is my only attempt at a journal, I will spew them out for posterity's sake.

Diana graduated from Dare in December. I came accross the picture of the boys at their dare graduations and so I thought I would post those as well.

Tent in fifth grade. Seems like so long ago.

And Jared with his DARE officer. He has grown a foot or two since then.

Here is Diana with her very bee-u-tiful teacher.

Good job! She was very stressed out over her DARE essay and spent an evening convinced that she wouldn't get it done and wouldn't graduate, but it all worked out in the end.

Another amazing even in December was Trent's concert with his CSN college choir. He looks good in his Tux, and it made me do a double take to see him sing. He did well and it is fun to discover new and hidden talents. I was too far away to get a very good picture. Trent is the one right behind the piano. I figure that when you are in college you don't appreciate your mother getting up and running up to the front to snap your picture. Maybe I was wrong, but I don't think so.

And Diana was in her school play. It was about some teachers and kids at an elementary school who were hoping it would snow so there would be a snow day. To make it more fun, they changed the names of all the characters in the play to be names of teachers at our school.

Diana had the part of the music teacher, Miss Friend. How teacherish does she look?

Here she is with some of her friends and cast mates.

Here she is with the real Miss Friend. Freaky twin like don't ya think? Can we say mini me?

Her she is after the performance accepting her flowers. A star is born.

My sister was able to fly down from Salt Lake for the day and be there to see Diana perform. It was a great day and I think Diana may have caught the acting bug.