Thursday, February 5, 2009

Another riduculous post in which I use my blog instead of paying for therapy.

You know how sometimes you wake up and everything in the world just seems right, the sun is shinning, you get the last bowl of your favorite cereal from the box, butterflies flit around your head as you walk to your car, and the day just gets better and better after that? Do you know what I am talking about? Well this is not one of those days.

Some wise person once said "When you reach the end of your rope tie a knot and hang on." I think I am there. But it is tempting to tie the knot around my throat instead.

Last night I got home at 8:00 pm and did the dishes that had been sitting there since Sunday all the while crying because I feel so overwhelmed and inadequate to deal with everything going on in my life right now. I prepared a delicious meal of Taco Bell burritos and Tacos. Folded the laundry that was on my bed so I could fall onto it in utter and complete exhaustion.

I am so tired of being everything, to everyone I could just pull my hair out and scream until my voice is gone.

And guess what I don't want to make it, I don't want to get through this. If one more person tells me that I am strong enough to do this, I will strangle them with my bare hands. Unless that would break a nail. Maybe not such a good idea.

Ok I just had to get that out of my system. Vent over. Move along people. Maybe I won't even post this, because I just posted the thing about Diana's fashion show that has been in my draft box for about two weeks.

Crash says I throw the best pity parties, so just FYI refreshments of hot fudge brownies are being served in my comment box. And I make the best hot fudge you have ever had. Just so you know. One of these days I am going to post that recipe.

So if you leave a comment, could it be a joke, because I really need to laugh right now, crying is so last year.


Kristina P. said...

Why was Tigger looking in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

Hahahahahahaha! HILARIOUS!!!!

Heidi Ashworth said...

You are strong enough to handle this (just kidding! See--it's a joke! Ha ha hee hee .. ..) Okay, well, the truth is, I don't really know all of what it is you are going through but I have so been there. Trust me on this one. I also got so tired of people saying that. I honestly thought I would die from sheer exhaustion, as if every drop of my blood was being sucked out and one day there would simply no longer be enough left. How could they possibly consider me strong? I think perhaps it is people's way of excusing themselves from having to take notice and take action. I'm so sorry I don't live closer or I would do something (but I can pray!)

Sandi said...

What do John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have in common????

They both have the same middle name!

p.s. NHC- you must learn to delegate!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Kristina, ha ha ha

Heidi, your joke did make me laugh. Thanks for understanding, because the feeling that no one quite gets it is part of the hard.

Sandi, yes delegation would be nice, but there doesn't seem to be anyone else on the board of motherhood. Why don't mothers get two counselors and a secretary? hmmmmm and I laughed at your joke also, thanks.

An AZ Girl in TX said...


You're driving down the road and you can see construction "cones" in the distance...
Off you your right is a sign that says:
"Left Lane Closed Ahead"
About 10 feet further down the road is a sign that says:
"Right lane ends"
Where does that leave you?

Oh wait, that's not a joke it really happened to us... every time we went down the road by our house... until they covered the right lane ends sign... heehee I keep thinking it's humorous at least!


Smart Helm said...

Come over to my blog and watch the video clip. That was pretty funny, right?

You crazy Moms that work like crazy during this time with everything else going on!

I wish u luck. And man are those brownies good. I have some ice cream that goes great with them, but u'll have 2 ask 4 some cuz I put it back in the freezer so it wouldn't melt.

Marjorie said...

There was a murder at WalMart. So, here's the story. .

Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a
young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed. A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'
Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something
up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept
the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super
Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands & as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor........
The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught & arrested before he could even leave the store. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with
the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.
The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared ...

(You're going to hate me for this ... )


Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Mom, I love artichokes, but maybe not so much after this. he he he

Melanie glad you liked the brownies and I do want ice cream could you get some out of the freezer for me? And I will come over and see your funny video.

Jennifer, yours sounds more like a nightmare than a joke, but I suppose silly construction workers are funny.

Leticia said...

A kindergarten teacher gave her class a "show and tell" assignment of bringing something to represent their religion. The first boy got in front of the class and said, "My name is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is the Star of David." The second boy got in front of the class and said, "My name is Thomas and I am Catholic and this is the Crucifix." The third boy got in front of the class and said, " My name is Johnny and I am Mormon and this is a casserole."

I thought this was pretty funny....
I got one more for ya...
Hey if you have any good jokes send em my way too!
Had a crazy day today...
Look how bad...I am eating a bowl of life cereal and reading blogs....pathetic...I know..
Loved your giraffe exercising!
Feel the burn !!!
So funny!!!

Leticia said...

Here's the other...
Sorry so long...this is funny....

What a Difference 30 Years Can Make
1970: Long Hair
2000: Longing for hair

1970: The perfect high
2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund

1970: KEG
2000: EKG

1970: Acid Rock
2000: Acid Reflux

1970: Moving to California because it's cool
2000: Moving to California because it's warm

1970: Growing pot
2000: Growing pot belly

1970: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents
2000: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children

1970: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor
2000: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor

1970: Seeds and stems
2000: Roughage

1970: Our president's struggle with Fidel
2000: Our president's struggle with fidelity

1970: Paar
2000: AARP

1970: Killer weed
2000: Weed killer

1970: Hoping for a BMW
2000: Hoping for a BM

1970: The Grateful Dead
2000: Dr. Kevorkian

1970: Getting out to a new, hip joint
2000: Getting a new hip joint

1970: Rolling Stones
2000: Kidney stones

1970: Being called into the principal's office
2000: Calling the principal's office

1970: Peace sign
2000: Mercedes logo

1970: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2000: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1970: Take acid
2000: Take antacid

1970: Passing the driver's test
2000: Passing the vision test

1970: "Whatever"
2000: "Depends"

Leticia said...

Where's my brownies..and I know you make killer fudge sauce....Can you post the recipe...for your brownies and sauce....???

Eliza said...

I'm not really a hot fudge person, but I LOVE brownies! Can I bring carmel sauce?

What do you call 4 Mexicans in quick sand?

Quatro Sinko

val of the south said...

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both
could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising
along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was
red, but they just went on through. The woman in the
passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it. I
could have sworn we just went through a red light."

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and
the light was red again. Again, they went right through.
The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the
light had been red but was really concerned that she was
losing it. She was getting nervous.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went
on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said,
"Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red
lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"

Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving?"

val of the south said...

Wonderful pity party - and the best refreshments I've had in a long time! I must have the recipe for the fabulous hot fudge!

You are the definitely the hostess with the mostest!!

Amie Earl said...

Is your fudge recipe grandmas's nelsons recipe if it is I will half to find that one. I been trying to think of a funny joke and i can't wait here is one

3 fathers are in the waiting room while their wives were giving birth

1st nurse came in and said congradulations to the first dad your wife just had twins dad replied that is funny because I work for the minnesota twins

2nd nurse came in and said congradulations your wife just had triplets dad replied how funny I work for 3m

3 rd dad fainted then and there when he came to he said he was nervous because I work for 7-up

April said...

As usual, I concur with Sandi. You are right. You can't do it all by yourself. Sometimes we need help from others and the only way to get help is to ask.

I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time. It's not fair. It stinks! I have no jokes for you. I want better for you. I want you to know that you deserve better too. ASK. YOU DESERVE IT!!!


Jen said...

Have you considered polygamy? I mean, you'd still be the first wife, AND there'd be another woman around to wash dishes and clean the house.

And you could take a serious break from fashion and hair worries.

This is looking better, and better...

SEBishop said...

Remember When:

--The BYU homecoming parade was right outside our door

--Pipes substituted for laundry hangers

--Going to the bathroom and grabbing a yogurt while doing your business

--Haunted Halloween with the PSYCHO knife-holding granny in the window

--All day Anne of Green Gables marathon

--All night Dungeons and Dragons

--Rescuing us in Preston Idaho in our 1976 frozen Toyota Corolla

--Caramel Popcorn binge eating--not to mention the Eagle Brand Milk can

Those Were The Days!!

Kris said...

Here is Brandon's joke:

What do you get when you cross a pig and ugly?

... A Pug

Here is Michael's joke:

I dated a women, she was very Asian. She was a Panda.

Here is my joke:

Once there was a person who studied to be a doctor. He studied so well that he quickly graduated. So he decided to open up a clinic and put a sign up that said, “If we can’t solve your problem then we’ll give you $5,000 first time and $10,000 the second time”. Many people tried to get the $5,000, but none succeded. One day a man said that hes gonna get it. He asked his friend to borrow $1,000 and that he’ll pay hime back $3,000. So he went to the clinic and said. “Doctor I can’t taste anything please help me!!”. So the doctor told his nurse, “give me jar #14”. He put a spoonfull in the mans mouth and he shouted, “What The Heck, THIS TASTES LIKE CRAP!!”. The doctor told him, “see you can taste”. So the man, angry, went back to his friend the next day and asked to borrow $1,000 and he’ll pay him back $5,000. So he went to the clinic and said, “Doc I can’t remember anything!”. So the doctor said asked his nurse, “bring me jar #14”. The man jumped up and shouted, “NO, NOT AGAIN!!!”

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Ha ha ha ha ha

I loved Kristina P's joke. ha hahahahahahah

And I loved that she was first.

I love looking at her in her snuggi. h aha haa


oh, I'm still laughing at Kristina P's joke. hahahah

Oh and you're funny too. I want to tell you that your strong because I know you won't go after me since you don't want to break a nail. ha hahaha

Okay, you're not strong. You're weak. But you ARE FUNNY!

hee hee hee


The Crash Test Dummy said...

And funny trumps strong, you know.

Anonymous said...

I feel special because I actually have your fudge sauce reciepe and everyone always rants and raves about it!!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Crash I am so happy to find out that funny trumps strong. That is way good news for me.

Shauna glad you like the fudge recipe. It is not that big of a deal but it is so way yummo. Remember when we made that dessert for homemaking? Good times sista.

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