Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Audits and Driving are not fun. The End.

I have returned to Vegas from my quick weekend trip to two family reunions.

If the universe had smiled upon me, I wouldn't have spent 4 hours last Wednesday searching high and low, far and wide, up and down, seeking and eventually finding my bank statements so I could figure out my check numbers of my tithing checks, so I could go to a branch of my bank in Utah and get the copies printed out.

Yes, it was ridiculous that my filing system consists of stashing bank statements in various places and random boxes. Of course I was under the misguided notion that who needs the hard copy of a statement when it is all on the Internet just a few easy clicks and a filled printer cartridge away. (Let's not even discuss the evil spirits of printers and printer cartridges today, K. We'll save that special conversation for another date after I get my anxiety medication refilled)

Well color me shocked/dismayed/distraught to learn that my bank switched computer systems in November of 2007 (the year I am being audited for) and so all of my supposedly safely stored documentation, not so much available anymore. Yet again proving that the day of miracles has NOT ceased, I was able to lay my hands on 11 of the sought after statements. I did find them in eleven different places, but what else was I going to do with all my spare time, right?

And so my trip to Utah was able to supply me with copies of just about all of my canceled checks. I am now busy creatively recreating a log for the miles I drove in charitable pursuits and listing items donated to charitable organizations.

Really blogging from jail is beginning to look better all the time. One week til D-day. And by that I mean doomsday or otherwise called my appointment with the Man.

I am left to ponder what does one wear to an audit? How should I do my hair? Would it be best to present the facade that I am businesslike and competent? Or should I go with my usual bag lady persona and go for the sympathy vote?

Perhaps I should google it, huh? One kind reader who I do not know posted a comment that everyone she knows who has been through an audit, said it was better than they thought it would be. That is comforting.

On a totally different subject, I am really tired of driving as I put 1100 miles on my car in the past 5 days. Now I have tomorrow to do laundry and repack for a weekend trip to Arizona for two nephew's baptisms. At least my husband will do the driving this weekend. I plan to be asleep the majority of the time.

I had a nice time at my reunions in Riverdale Idaho. Riverdale is a suburb of Preston, if such a small town can have a suburb. I saw many relatives who I have not seen for many years. Every summer of my child hood I spent at least a week in Preston Idaho. Not to mention I was born there. I haven't been back for a while, and although some things have changed, it is remarkably untouched by modern civilization.

I kept looking around for Napoleon Dynamite to coming strutting down the street. But I didn't even see Tina the Lama this time.

One thing of note, our hotel room at Riverdale Resort came equipped with a fly swatter. Is it just me or does that seem rather odd and not really a good sign if your hotel room needs a fly swatter. My only regret is that I did not manage to snap a shot of it. How negligent of me.

Jared returned from Seattle after a two week visit. He seems to be doing rather well. What will my house be like in a few weeks when everyone goes back to school? Oh yeah that thing I thought was extinct around here like the dinosaurs - QUIET.

Someday I hope to stop living life and blog about all the fun and cute pictures from my family reunion in July. Hopefully it will be sooner than later.

As I returned to town this time, I was left wondering if it isn't just worse torture to get out of the heat for a little while. Would it be better to just stay here and suffer and forget that places exist that are not 110 at midnight? Just a thought.

And can I just say that I am not really fond of the bazillion conversations I have with people I haven't seen for so long. The first thing they always say "So how do you like Vegas." "Well I hate it, thank you very much for reminding me of that fact." I did make some progress this trip on my plans to be buried in Cache Valley. That is something positive.


Emily said...

Sorry we missed you at the Reunion, I hear it was a great time, and I hope you had a successful auditing experience.

Smart Helm said...

You certainly don't sound like ur old bubbly self! Again, I think we might need another girls evening. Perhaps after school starts? (OK, so I just need one apparently!)

You HAVE been a traveling fool! I agree with the 'getting out of Vegas more of a hindrence than a help' idea. Since I haven't left for a while, I've found I can sleep in 80 degrees. Sometimes it makes me mad we are adaptable!

April said...

Between the audit, the traveling and your return to hellish weather it's no wonder you are longing for some quiet! I actually took a day off work this week thanks to a migraine. See how the universe watches out for us?

And as for the outfit, I'd go all in black. That way the auditor doesn't know if you are there for your funeral or to kill them. Put them on the edge for a change.

Homer and Queen said...

Don't waste your energy hating Vegas, Vegas is just...Vegas. I have lived here my whole life with the exception on mission, school, and we lived 3 years in Mesa.(Trust me, there are a lot of years left!)The weather, tourists, strip, desert, traffic, heat, dry, etc, all suck but you have made good friends right! Most of the people are great...especially me!!! HAHAHAHAHA

Kris said...

Hey, I'm glad you and Jared both made it back safe and sound. I'm sorry that it is so hot and you are going somewhere hotter.

Wish you the best on your trip.

T said...

I'm sad that you've been so crazy - here: this is your virtual "audit care package"

open the large bills only printed wrapping paper carefully - to reveal a small box... with a chocolate bar of your choosing (sorry, you know I'm not a chocolate fan...), under that is a handkerchief for all the sweat - and some antiperspirant (whichever brand uses the "never let 'em see you sweat" motto - and finally, a large reproduction of a get out of Jail Free Card from monopoly :)

can't wait to here how it was SOOOoooo much better than you'd anticipated!

as for what to wear - I say to buy something new and leave the price tags attached... tell the IRS guy it's your new way of keeping track of purchases... then ask him if it's deductible since you wore it to the audit...

luv ya!!!