Dear IRS

We are fast approaching that time of year, when we look in files and boxes, pull out receipts and little scraps of paper. You know, when you try to determine just what expenses from the previous year you will be able to deduct on your taxes.

So I am accumulating a worksheet of medical expenses, because I have a sinking feeling that I just may be able to deduct those this year.

I would hate to ever be audited by the IRS, so I thought I would just run some of these deductions by you all and let you give me the thumbs up. Let me know if you see any red flag items that you think the IRS will have a problem with.

$75 for 50 pounds of peanut M&Ms

$100 for repair of wall where I banged me head daily for six months

$80 for Diana's extra pair of glasses to save my sanity

$10 for ear plugs so I could sleep at night at the hospital


$5 for eye mask, also for sleeping at night at the hospital


$25 for the parking ticket I received when I forgot to display my handicap placard at one of Jared's million doctor appointments

$65.95 for the minutes I went over my plan while talking to friends and family from the hospital

$595.15 for fast food like McDonald's, Wendy's, or Taco Bell that have kept our family alive for the past 6 months, all the while probably secretly killing us.

$90 for 3 months gym membership that I joined after a false high cholesterol result convinced me that I needed to do something to be more healthy and relieve stress.

$10 for baby shower gift for the receptionist at the physical therapy office

$10 for a birthday present for one of the workers at the pharmacy because I am there so much they think I work there.

So what do you think? I do have my degree from BYU in Accounting, but it has been quite a while. And truth be told I took tax my last semester and just wanted to get a D to graduate. Thank you very much. And don't tell my kids about that either