Since I cried out for support last week, I have been overwhelmed with the response of my friends. One brought me flowers, another a 3 pound bag of peanut M&Ms. Many of you have posted comments of love or e-mailed me personally. These notes mean more than you will ever know. It is amazing how much a simple word of encouragement can mean. It is like a ray of sunlight in the middle of the night. Other friends have called to chat and have checked up on me.
"A friend is like a good bra: hard to find, comfortable, supportive, always lifts you up, makes you look better, never lets you down or leaves you hanging, and always close to your heart." - Unknown
One friend was at a Missionary Not Open house in Utah. As a group of people were talking, she suddenly overheard that one of the guys plays on the BYU football team. Being the true friend that she is, she asked this young man to sign an autograph for her friend, namely me. She had him make it out to me personally and actually asked him if he had heard of me. I think it is a good sign that he had not. He is a third string wide receiver and I have not personally stalked him, yet. So good news, there have not been any public warnings given about me at any team meetings. You know it would go something like this "Beware of a crazy old lady with a picture of a turkey bone that looks like a "Y". And how awesome is it that my friends are now stalking BYU football players in my behalf. A sign of true friendship.
"A friend is someone who believes in you even when you have ceased to believe in yourself." - Unknown
I was especially grateful for one friend's advice that when you feel overwhelming grief, you should get down on your knees and pray thanking Heavenly Father for every single thing you can think of until the sadness leaves your heart. I could tell from her letter that she has done this personally and had it work for her. Some how there is such comfort in knowing that others have felt the way I do at this time before in their life.
"Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief."
I still feel a bit silly for letting the mask of coping and competency fall from my face for a day. But having others understand what I am going through is also huge. How can others help to bear my burdens if I don't let them know I am struggling. I am feeling so much better about things this week. I got some needed R&R this weekend. And we are a week closer to getting some answers, so that is always good.
"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival."-"
-C. S. Lewis